good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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