walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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