If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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