youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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