I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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