There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
