I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't deserve a penis
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
