And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
