six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
