is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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