Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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