i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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