The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
