I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
