awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Randomize
