i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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