i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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