why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
