I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He did a backflip because drugs
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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