Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
