i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
