"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
