so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
