CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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