all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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