It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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