Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
