yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
