do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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