I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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