Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
