You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
