your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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