talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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