he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
