"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
