We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
