Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Quick, to the slutcave!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize