I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
