It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We are all done wearing pants today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
