I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
