wanna go halves on a baby?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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