just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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