Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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