It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
