PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
