i will never coherently bang her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
