Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
