I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
