Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
